Posts Tagged ‘starting over at 50’

The Rich Tapestry of Every Life

July 11, 2013

There are messages woven into the circumstances of each individual life. It is left to us to discover them, unravel their meaning, and find the blessing within.

I met an amazing little girl. Even at five years old, she was wise beyond her years and able to carry on a conversation as if she were an adult. She was, however, holding a crushing loss on her heart. She felt lost in a world without a mother. By the time she was seven, we were buddies and spent our time together playing a question game. We took turns coming up with queries to answer. At first we learned each other’s favorite colors and ice cream flavors. Over time, our questions became much more creative and the answer much more creative and the answers were more insightful as to our deeper thoughts on life. Her feelings of loss and wishing she had her mother would work into so many of her answers. I loved her, but no love can replace that of a mother. At least I could listen.

As she grew up, new answers would emerge. Her answer to “Who would you most like to have dinner with/” changed from Jesus to to her latest pop star; things like that. But longing for the mother she lost was central to many of her answers.

Then one day came the repeated question we had answered so many times before, “If you could change one thing about your past, what would it be?” In the past, her mom would not have died. But now, the 14 year old, long deprived of her mother answered, “You know, I used to wish that mom had never died, and, of course, I would have loved to have a mother. But now I see that I wouldn’t change it, because if everything would have been different, I think that I would not be as strong as I am.”

That is a true story. As she was able to find the blessing inside her story, her life completely changed from being a victim of circumstance to being a powerful, young women in charge of her life and her happiness. She put herself through 5 years of college and is now a middle school math teacher.

______________________________________________________________Dina Dove

As an author, inspirational speaker, and coach, I am dedicated to helping people remember who they really are at their deepest core and discover their unique path to career and personal fulfillment.

For further information, please contact me at Dina@BagladysGuide.com

www.dinadove.com

http://www.facebook.com/bagladysguide

 

 

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I Need an Expert

July 10, 2013

Do you ever find yourself saying that?  Feeling inadequate seems to be a part of life for most of us. But truly, our thoughts betray us.

That’s one reason I wrote my first book, The Baglady’s Guide to Elegant Living.  In it, a little old lady helps a young woman find “the expert within”. Ever since then, readers longingly tell me that they want a ‘Baglady’ of their own… Someone to love them through the process.

You may need a guide to aid you in finding your internal ‘expert.’ It needs to be someone who specifically leads you back to yourself, NOT someone to be it for you!

Don’t worry that you feel inadequate now. It took me a long time looking outside before I finally learned to go within.  So, don’t feel alone in your thoughts.  Our whole lives we have been taught to refer to experts outside, so it takes some time to learn to trust your own instincts and inner guidance.

Just determine to uncover the ‘expert’ that is you! It is a totally transforming experience.

Follow your own heart. It will never lead you astray.

______________________________________________________________Dina Dove

As an author, inspirational speaker, and coach, I am dedicated to helping people remember who they really are at their deepest core and discover their unique path to career and personal fulfillment.

For further information, please contact me at Dina@BagladysGuide.com

www.dinadove.com

www.facebook.com/BagladysGuide

 

Change, Glorious Change

July 2, 2013

While many people balk at change, I love it. In fact, when there is not enough change in my life, I get complacent and feel like life is standing still.

Over the last couple days, I’ve totally moved out of one part of my huge house and into the other half. It’s given me a chance to shake things up a bit.

Look at all the great things that have happened just from that change.

  1. I’ve rediscovered many things that I’d completely forgotten that I had.
  2. In rediscovering my high school yearbook and looking at my 17 year old self on the pages, I noticed how much my physical appearance had changed.
  3. In that change I also became more grateful  for the fact that I’m much wiser and more contented. So what if there a wrinkles. I’ve come to love myself as I am.

Back to the move and the positive aspects of that change, I am invigorated by putting my life back together in a new way. I’ve cleaned out the old and started anew in a fresh office, looking out on a new balcony.

Shake your life up now and then. It’s a boost to your creativity.

Ah! The glory of change.

______________________________________________Dina Dove

As an author, inspirational speaker, and coach, I am dedicated to helping people remember who they really are at their deepest core and discover their unique path to career and personal fulfillment.

For further information, please contact me at Dina@BagladysGuide.com

www.dinadove.com

www.facebook.com/BagladysGuide.com

Is That all There Is?

April 7, 2013

Have you ever thought to yourself, “Is this all there is?”

At the time when my outer life looked perfect; perfect looking marriage, perfect looking business and perfect looking balance sheet, inside I was dying, extremely unhappy. I was a money making workaholic who didn’t really enjoy life. I wanted something more meaningful and began to sincerely call out to spirit.

Trust me on this one…When there is nothing you want more than to know the true nature of God and what He really wants your life to be…… hold on tight. He’s coming. And the result may surprise you…. Maybe even shock you.

After making that commitment, on the outside things actually got worse. An onlooker might say that that was when God really let me down, but it was then that I was swooped up into His arms and carried right thru the fire.

In the process of losing everything, my marriage, my business, my money, and my honor, I thought I was going to become a bag lady. But instead, I walked into a glorious new life. Now my passion is to help others find their own personal connection to spirit.

Now I wouldn’t change a thing about my life, before or after. I believe that without those trials, I would never have come to the understanding that we are truly taken care of, and that He is watching over each one of us, individually, showing Himself in small ways every moment of every day.

All we have to do is open our eyes in a new way.

 

I Win. You Lose. Bah-Humbug!

January 3, 2010

I’m spoiled! I can’t work like that anymore.  I’ve seen the light.

My transformation took place in the space of a 3 hour game of “Cash Flow”.

That’s right, a game about amassing money. 

For what I gained you would think that I had attended a revival.

It was a spiritual experience for me. I still get goose bumps when I think of it.

“Cash flow” is a game where the object is to develop enough passive income to get out of the rat race.

In fact, the game piece you move around the board is a rat.  Mine was the red rat.

You move around the board kind of like Monopoly. If you don’t have enough money to do the deal on the card to pull, you can try to bargain with the other players to sell them the deal.

It was close to the end of the game and I pulled a great card, only I did not have enough money to do the deal. The guy to my right had the money, and, if he got hold of my card, he would get way ahead of me in the game. However, didn’t want to pay my price, so I was going to let the card go to waste.

Just then, the facilitator came to our table, looked at my great card, and said the words that would change the way I saw life and business forever.

Mark said, “Dina, you are seeing this all wrong. Look around the table. How can you structure a deal with all the players to where you all can get out of the rat race at the same time?” That statement opened up a whole new way of seeing the world to me.

Then he proceeded to show us how, by all chipping in a certain amount of money, every player at the table could participate in the deal that would catapult all of us into the winners circle at that very moment.

The game was a microcosm of the macrocosm that is our collective life. We’re all on this planet together. There is a way for all of us to ‘chip in’ our time, our talents, and our money to make anything we desire a reality.

All we have to do is stop looking at life as….. “If I win you lose or if you win I lose.”

Instead, we can look at the big picture, look at the skills and resources that are needed, and bring a group together that can meet the shared goal by each contributing their passion to the project. 

When we can do that, we all win together. And that is ‘The Game of Life’ played out in a way that would make every day feel like Christmas and… maybe even bring a little bit of heaven to earth.

A Smile, a Kind Word and a French Fry

December 21, 2009

Most kids and most parents seem to think that working for McDonalds is not a very worthwhile first job. But I contend that you can learn everything about life and businesses in a stint in the fast food industry.

When I went to work for Sandy’s Drive In (It was later bought out by Hardee’s), the organization proceeded to train us on everything from how to greet a customer to how many French fries to put in a bag.

Being your typical ‘know it all’ kid, I was not impressed with what I referred to as the ‘propaganda training films.’

I was especially put off by the one that explained the huge impact of putting one extra fry in a sack. The film proceeded to explain that the waste of one French fry amounted to a bag of fries within a  few short minutes. In the course of a lunch rush it could easily amount to a loss of revenue from 5-6 bags of fries. Multiply that over all the Sandy’s in town and it is a case of fries a day. Multiply that times the hundred stores in the chain over a year’s period and it could easily amount to a hotel full of lost revenue over a year.

“1 French fry?  Be real!” I thought.

And the joke was on me.

Later on I came to be a business owner and found that “The French Fry Theory”, as I later came to call it, was the purest form of truth there ever was. And, it applies to everything from paper towels to attitude adjustment.

Though few of us ever consider it, every little thing makes a difference. One French fry can alter the profits of a whole company. What we waste in America is likely enough to feed the rest of the world.

Take the idea further and consider that something as simple as a helping hand received and passed on from one neighbor to another can chance a city. A smile could light up the lives of countless others. It’s the small things that make a big difference.

So, what is in a smile, a kind word and a French fry?

Each one holds the power to change the world.

The Angels of Closed Doors

April 8, 2009

We’ve all experienced it.

 

Trying our best to make something happen and there are barriers at every turn.

First we try Plan A.

Then go at it from a different angle; Plan B.

We back up and try it again, but someone, or some thing is messing up the plan.

 

Two things can happen next.

1.      We rage against the person or thing standing in the way.

2.      We sink into the ‘why me’ syndrome

 

“Why me? Why can’t I make this work? Why is this person being mean? Why won’t my car start? Why, why, why?”

 

If you are encountering a lot of resistance in moving toward something you are wanting, you may be in the company of angels you just don’t recognize as such. The Angels of Closed Doors.

 

I’ve come to realize that there are no enemies on the way to fulfillment; only signs, angels if you will. They’re helping steer us away from the wrong path as well as toward the right one. To get on board with this idea, we must accept that we don’t always know the whole story behind a dead end. The very thing that is an aggravation could be steering you safely away from a problem yet unseen.

 

Life is not meant to be a struggle, but an adventure! Thank heaven I’m getting wiser to this truth as life goes on. When I find myself hitting road blocks at every turn in a project, it’s important to step back, take some time for reflection and offer up a thought or prayer of willingness to see the situation differently. After all, when I’m not supposed to go in a particular direction, I do want to know!

 

If the universe is all loving and God knows the deepest yearnings of our hearts, how can he help us, even protect us, if the noise in our heads is so loud that it drowns out his quiet voice?

 

The answer: The Angels of Closed Doors.

Grandma Looking at Me

March 27, 2009

My Aunt Rose Audrey is in her late 80s. She is at the time in her life when she wants to see to it that each of us gets whatever keepsakes we may want from her home.

The one thing I have always wanted, is the single photo of my grandma, just the way I remember her. It is the one that hangs in my parent’s house. Each of my aunts and uncles have a copy.

It was taken in the 60s by my mom, in front of the fiberglass curtains at our house.  Never wanting to deprive anyone of the photo, I’ve not even asked about getting one.

Aunt Rose Audrey has that picture of grandma in her living room. On a recent trip, as I was walking down the long hallway from the back porch to the kitchen, I noticed the same photo sitting on the dresser in the back bedroom and asked if I could have it.

To my delight, I was able to take it home that same day.

Now grandma’s photo sits in my living room next to the television.

She smiles the same loving smile that welcomed me all my life. 

And she smiles my Baglady’s gentle and loving smile. Because, you see, she was the inspiration for the character.

If I could have one wish for each person in the world, it would be for you to have someone like my grandma in your own life; a person who always loves you unconditionally, just as much thru all your trials as thru your accomplishments.

Fortunes without a Cookie

March 20, 2009

Isn’t that a neat title? Kind of cryptic. It makes you wonder what the blog will be about.

Surprise, surprise! The title is it. Unfortunately I have no subject to match it. I’ve got a bunch of titles for new books, too. No content, just the titles.

Writer’s block, you might ask? Maybe.

Or… maybe I’m just finally ready to let you in on my ‘quirky side’, as my sister calls it. Sonja would be so much better at telling these stories than me. So, I’ll tell a quirky story about my family instead. Because, (secret revealed) our entire family is… shall we say… unique.

We’ve always been atypical.

Imagine this.

In the 1950s our mom and dad had what seemed like, on the outside, a normal relationship; 1 car, 5 kids born in 6 years, dad worked and mom stayed home washing diapers, cooking and cleaning. 

But guess what else.  

While dad was at work, mom remodeled the house. I don’t mean that she hired it done. Mom tore down walls and rebuilt others.

She studied Uri Geller and the Roswell incident. We did experiments with small pyramids and their preserving powers. 

Mom studied the Bible and metaphysics.

Think of it, a family of 7 on a butcher’s salary. There wasn’t extra money for anything. But I don’t ever remember hearing the words, we can’t afford it.

No, we heard that “Your father is on an economy drive.”

 Same message, different energy.

Cool, huh?  

We learned to be resourceful and find ways to make money if we wanted something.

With 5 kids eating everything in sight dad did figure out how to preserve a treat just for him. He bought coconut cookies. He was the only one in the family who would eat them.

Smart dad.

So, let’s see. I actually may be able to tie this back to the title in spite of myself.  I got the cookie. And, you know… 

Without a doubt, my family has been my truest fortune.

 

Miss Goody-Two-Shoes Goes on a Rampage

March 15, 2009

Many of you know me as a person who is prone to looking on the bright side. Look out!

As you may know, I live in a 100 year old Victorian home. In a house, you can imagine, that occasionally may need work.

“To be expected,” you might say.

And I agree.

I keep up with it, if I know something is amiss, I get ‘my fix-it guy’ (The one who fixes all things broken in the house).

Well, last month I was only home about 5 days.

While I was away the heat was turned down to just above freezing.  I was more than shocked to get a gas bill for $290.00.

My personal opinion was that the unit had epilepsy.

By that I mean that it goes along working just fine most of the time and then, Whammo!

All of a sudden there is a glitch and it stops. Then, when it corrects itself, it starts working again.

Since I wasn’t at home anyway, I could put up with the heater not working. But… when the gas bill was outrageous and the heat still was not working…

Now THAT’s a problem.

So, I called in my guy. And he called in another guy.

They decided that the lack of a cold air return for my first floor system was the problem. I’d known I needed this done for several years but had tried to get along without it.

However, since they believed it was the reason for the high utility bill, I finally acquiesced to the solution.

Even though the solution cost me almost $600 (more than my normal full year in gas bills), the prospect of an even higher bill this month while I am home made me bite the bullet.

“So,” you may ask, “what’s your beef?”

After two days of beautiful weather, last night it got cold again. I turned the thermostat up and later on went downstairs to find the first floor all nice and cozy.

(The reason I say the first floor is because my house has several different central air units. The one on the first floor is the one with the problem.)

I was happy and thought that the problem had been solved.  But, this morning I went down to find the temperature was only 55 degrees, the new thermostat (part of the fix) was set at 68.

The heater was not running. No hot air was coming out of the registers.

The epilepsy has returned. 

I’m $600 down, might have another gas bill close to $300 this month, nothing is working any better.

It is really cold down there… and…   

Oh, did I mention that the cold air return they put in required them to saw an 18” square hole into the 100 year old lath and plaster wall?

@#*^%$#@  

If you have never dealt with the dust raised by such an act then you have no conception of the kind of clean up required.  Don’t even think about comparing it to sheetrock dust.

Sheetrock dust can’t hold a candle to this. An 18” hole cut out of sheetrock would have taken about 15 minutes to clean up.

EVERYTHING on the entire first floor and the stairway to the second floor was covered with the finest particle dust known to man.  

Imbedded in every piece of furniture, clinging to the walls, enhancing every cob web in the corners of the ceiling, laying in the folds of all the cascading draperies, encrusting every silk flower arrangement, every piece of pottery, the table, the candles, grandma’s antique glassware, the area rugs, the hardwood floors, the fancy woodwork, and all the indoor trees and plants.

And that was only the dining room!

The living room, kitchen, bathroom and family room were covered too! The mess rivaled the damage of the great dust storms of history, completely held within the confines of one house.

I spent the entire last two days cleaning up this dust and I’m not done yet. 

The family room is still barricaded off as if it is a toxic dump site. Even walking thru the room with dust that fine would cause a flurry that could re-contaminate the rest of the house and undo the progress I’ve made thus far. I have paid my dues.

From now on, anyone who says I haven’t done my part to clean up the environment will be shot.

So, to finish this episode of the saga at hand…

It is Sunday, but I called ‘my fix-it guy’ anyway.  I just rambled off this entire litany of woes to him.  

Hearing the tears in my voice, he promised to call the other guy and come and look at the heating unit that has cost the national debt and still won’t keep the house warm. 

 I gotta go now. This guy does so much work for me that he has a key to the house. I have to go downstairs and make sure he doesn’t come in thru the family room and raise the dust.