Posts Tagged ‘friends’

The Perfect Career – Guaranteed!

July 13, 2013

Before you seek contentment in any other career, it is important to realize that your most important work is to be happy, contented, grateful and generous.

When you master these standards as your first priority, you will succeed at anything you choose to do. Without these, nothing you choose to do in life will feel like real success in the end.

Here are a few guidelines to help you get there.

Take time to count your blessings. By daily focusing on what is ‘right in your world’,  you automatically attract more good into your life.

What you focus on expands.

Quiet the voices in your head that say you’re not good enough, not smart enough, or any other defeatist balderdash.  Drown them out with positive thoughts and affirmations.

Surround yourself with upbeat people. Your mind will have the additional source of input that will help keep you on track.

Focus on the negative, you attract more to you.

Focus on the positive and your life improves.

Give of yourself to things you feel passionate about. Let the simple joy of giving be your intent. Have no concern for getting something in return.  When you are generous with your time and talents, it creates a space that must be filled.

Focus on giving and the Universe gives back to you in surprising and wonderful ways.

As you keep all these things in mind, make strides toward what you desire.  That movement forward demonstrates what is important to you. It is another powerful form of focus.

The result? True Success in life and career.

______________________________________________________________Dina Dove

As an author, inspirational speaker, and coach, I am dedicated to helping people remember who they really are at their deepest core and discover their unique path to career and personal fulfillment.

For further information, please contact me at Dina@BagladysGuide.com

www.dinadove.com

http://www.facebook.com/BagladysGuide

 

Who are Your Fab Five?

July 12, 2013

The people you hang around with can tell you a great deal about your life. In fact, they are the main indicators of it.

Good, bad, or ugly, your family will always be your family. Ya gotta love um. But outside your family, you have a lot to say about those you spend time with. So, are you choosing wisely?

Take a minute to run the numbers. Assess how well your ‘Fab Five’ are in alignment with the person you are wanting to be.

1.  List the 5 people, outside of immediate family, that you spend the most time with.

2.  Next to each name, put the number between 1 and 10 (10 being the highest) that best matches the quality of that person’s life.

3.  Determine the average. The resulting number is probably just about where you stand at this time.

Do you want to bring your number up? It’s not that hard. Start making small strides by spending more time in uplifting situations and with uplifting people.  Before too long you’ll see positive changes in your own number.

_____________________________________________________________________Dina Dove

As an author, inspirational speaker, and coach, I am dedicated to helping people remember who they really are at their deepest core and discover their unique path to career and personal fulfillment.

For further information, please contact me at Dina@BagladysGuide.com

www.dinadove.com

http://www.facebook.com/BagladysGuide

The Power of the Truth to Heal

April 16, 2013

I just finished watching Courage under Fire with Denzel Washington and Meg Ryan.

I won’t give you any details of the movie. You might want to watch it again….. with new eyes. This movie is such a shining (or should I say glaring) example of the power of these two actions: lying and truth telling.

Lies eat at us, cause us to be self destructive, sometimes they even so deplete our energy that they lead to major illness. Our shame may be so great that we think it unspeakable. But the moment we can speak it, confess our shortcoming, the burden is somehow lightened. We still have to deal with the wrong of whatever it was, but just speaking it takes so much negative energy out of the thing…… whatever it was.

For me, it is so important to have a friend, a confidant, someone with whom I can confess my transgressions. I’ve not killed anyone or done anything too terribly bad, but still I need someone to console me in my guilty feelings. Actually, my friends don’t usually console me, the feeling is more that of acceptance, unconditional love. I know when I’m wrong, when I’ve acted or thought in a destructive way. But the dearest friends are those that will love us in spite of the fact that we are not always loveable.

When I was little, my grandmother was my confidant. When I was in sixth grade, I was always getting in trouble at school. Being widowed when my dad was a teenager, it was the biggest treat to sleep with her when I visited. We’d lay in bed and talk and I’d sometimes tell her about the gang fights I was in the middle of. I remember one time recounting how kids were teasing me about my current crush and that started the battle. One girl cleaned out the chalk tray and dumped the chalk dust in my hair. We knocked each other around, other kids got involved and pretty soon I picked up the water bucket and twilled it around to keep from getting hit. No one could get to me without being hit buy the swirling bucket.

Grandma laid there in the dark listening to me tell my little story. As I finished she said, “Pixie, you’re terrible!” Even as she was saying it, I remember so clearly that I knew she was smiling. Smiling because she loved me so much. Getting a kick out of my childhood antics. Letting me tell my story without letting her love for me diminish in the slightest.

For the most part, grandma taught me how to be a good kid: to mind, be nice to the other kids, not talk to strangers. I always wanted to please her. But when I was taking her into my confidence, she never really judged me. She listened. Her love was so constant and unwavering.

Grandma’s been gone a long time now and good friends have taken her place. Like grandma, they don’t condone what I’ve done, they just let me tell the truth without convicting me. Heaven knows, most of us convict ourselves with no problem what so ever. We don’t need our friends to tell us we’re wrong. We need our friends to love us and help us get back to loving ourselves.

You know, they say you can’t love anyone any more than you love yourself. By accepting us even on our worst days, friends hold us in the light and help us remember to be more kind to ourselves.

The Very Last Time

April 11, 2013

Thinking on the theme of “the last time”, I’m reminded of the lyrics to a song I heard many years ago.

It started out…
“A friend of mine is going blind, but thru the dimness
He sees so much better than me.
“And he cherishes each new thing that he sees.
And he’ll save them for when he’s in darkness again.”

Consider the person who, through the ravages of disease, knows that their days are numbered.
How much different they must see.

My brother passed away after a long struggle with cancer. He was an outdoorsman. His career as a fishing guide spanned 17 years. And, he absolutely loved what he did.

That last winter, when hunting season was over, he proclaimed that that was the last time he would go to deer camp. The cold and the spread of the cancer to his hip had made it a difficult season in a deer blind.

I can imagine that, like the man who was going blind, even in his discomfort, he was also storing every detail in the woods; the crisp winter air, the subtle rustle of the deer, the camaraderie with his friends.
Knowing it was the last time, each moment must have been so precious to him.

In a way, he was lucky, because he heard the message. “This could be the last time.”
And hearing that, loud and clear, I bet he savored the moments more than most.

The truth is…
For all of us…. ‘This could be the last time.’

The last time you drive down a beautiful roadway

The last time you sing the national anthem.

The last time you speak to a loved one

This could be the last time…..
It’s a powerful thought that calls on us to take notice.
And… to cherish the moments of our lives.

Rule Followers and Rule Breakers

February 18, 2009

Maybe there are more than 2 types of people in the world… (DUH)… but for today’s conversation, let’s just break them down to 2.

                Rule Followers (RFs)

                Rule Breakers (RBs)

Now let’s add a little twist and give those 2 sub-types.

                Enlightened Rule Followers (ERFs)

                Enlightened Rule Breakers (ERBs)

I’d be the Rule Breaker type. So I’ll just put that out there right up front.  

There was a day when I lived an RB kind of life, but I’ve now graduated to the enlightened group. Let me explain.

There are such vast differences in perception between RBs and RFs that often they can’t get along with each other at all. The down side of the rule breaker category, I must admit, could be living outside the law, and that is not good.

But the upside RBs are the innovators, the creative sorts, often entrepreneurs that just dare the world to tell them something is impossible so they can go out and make it happen.

Those at the low end of the RF category are pointing fingers at those who break out of the norm and sometimes push the envelope to the limit. So, there can be a lot of judgment going back and forth between the 2 groups even though it is these very differences that make the world go around.

Now we come to the enlightened group on both sides. These people have a lot going for them.

Having dropped their judgments about people who think entirely different from them, they are now open to enjoy and revel in the unique and special talents of the opposite group.

One of my best friends is the ultimate Rule Follower.  She follows the rules, TO THE LETTER no matter what. Don’t try to get her to fudge on anything. She doesn’t go even one mile over the speed limit, always uses her blinkers, gets off the phone when there is lightning, etc.

You get the picture.

Me being a rule breaker, I ignore all of those at times. And some of them ALL THE TIME. Speed limit? What’s that? (just kidding, kinda)

So, how can we be the best of friends?

It is the word ‘enlightened’ that makes the difference.

When I suggest that she do something that might be a slight infraction of ‘the rules’, she starts to explain why she can’t. And… even as she starts, I say,

“Oh yea, you’re a rule follower.”

And then we both laugh.  You can’t make a person go against their basic nature and we should all give up on trying. We’d be a lot happier.

When I tell her my hair-brained ideas, or wend a wild tale about something that seems too far out to be possible, she just cheers me on.  Breaking the rules seems as impossible to her as keeping them is for me, but we take joy in the differences and use them for comic relief. 

Secretly…….. (Don’t ever tell her I told you this)

I think there is a hidden rule breaker somewhere inside her… that lives vicariously thru me.

The Hamburgers at Harry’s in Pittsburg

January 4, 2009

A couple of days ago I met with sisters, Kathy and Donna, at Harry’s Café in Pittsburg, KS.

 

What a great place it is; an old fashioned local diner. You can still sit at the counter on a round stool that will spin you in 360 degrees. There are homemade pies every day. But the biggest deal about eating at Harry’s for me is getting to have a real hamburger and real french fries.

 

You know, like in the old days.

 

With lettuce, tomato and a whole slice of real onion. Mustard and all the ketchup you want to squirt right out of the bottle. (No little packets to open at Harry’s.)

 

I’m reminded of the theme song for the sit com, Cheers, when I think of Harry’s. …..where everybody knows your name….. and they’re really glad you came….

 

We sat at a booth just off the main aisle to the kitchen. Kathy and Donna’s mom works the cash register on the weekends, so she chatted with us for a few minutes. Some of the staff came out of the kitchen to say hello to us and several others in the dining room.

 

Obviously, these girls have connections, because when we got up to the cash register Aunt Betty, the owner, took all our tickets away and refused to take our money.

 

So, I ran out to my car and signed a copy of The Baglady’s Guide to Elegant Living  especially to Aunt Betty. What a sweetheart she is.

 

If Harry’s isn’t something to ‘cheer’ about, I don’t know what is.