Archive for September, 2009

Who Will You Be Today, Your Authentic Self or …?

September 26, 2009

I’ve long considered writing a book about all the personalities we employ as we go about the days and years of our lives.  Of course, there is the daughter, the employee, the mom and the wife, but there are also more complex versions of all of us that we employ based on the circumstance and our frame of mind at the time. Some show us who we want to be more of and others give us a view into our… well… let’s call it our “self improvement needed” side.

We all lose our way from time to time and, believe me, I am no exception. I’ve recently had an extended encounter with my ‘Over Accommodating’ personality. As many of you know, I speak for a good number of women’s groups around the country.  The churches and organizations who host me can get a very good idea of the subject matter of my talks by first reading The Baglady’s Guide to Elegant Living. In the book I talk about finding your authentic self and living from that place.

I’m so thankful for the overall freedom that my hosts afford me. We discuss in advance what part of my message will be of most interest to the attendees. I do make notes to speak from and then, once on stage, I let spirit lead me. It is my intent to entertain and, hopefully, impart a bit or two of wisdom to the audiences.

Starting in April, as I prepared to work with a new group, it was requested that I put in writing what I would say, and, trying to be accommodating, I did that. They had other requirements of what I needed to include and so I added and rearranged. We were working back and forth for quite some time and I was beginning to be concerned that in order to meet the restrictions I would either have to memorize or read my talk. That is certainly different than my normal presentation method, but I wanted to be cooperative.

It all kind of snuck up on me, but looking back on it now, I see that I started dragging my feet. Not on just that presentation, but on my work in general. Something just didn’t feel right and I found myself doing everything I could think of to avoid my work.  I’ve been walking around feeling guilty about doing nothing productive, but I just haven’t been able to make myself do much of anything for a couple of months now.

It was only last night that I finally got it, I’d lost my way. I’d forgotten who I was. I’d been so busy trying to be what someone else needed me to be that I forgot who I was. And so it was like I was wandering aimlessly in the desert with no water in sight.  The ‘Over Accommodating’ personality had descended upon me like a thief in the night. Little by little, I had tried to make myself fit into someone else’s truth, and had lost track of myself.

A round peg doesn’t fit into a square hole, but we can sure wear ourselves out trying. And often, as in my case, blindly so. Discovering my true, authentic self, and continuing to live from that place, is my real work.  And whenever I forget, my step will be a little less lively. Inspiration will wane.

Last night, after a barely perceptible four month slide away from my true self, I finally realized that I just couldn’t do it. In my effort to be cooperative, I had abandoned ‘me’. Neither party was at fault. We simply were not compatible.

All it took was remembering my true self and recognizing that I was out of alignment. Once able to see the problem, I got back on the right track. And immediately things changed.  Today my life is once again filled with light. I’m able to work and inspiration has returned.

This Could be Heaven

September 23, 2009

Yesterday, on my way to a seminar in Chicago, I drove all day thru Illinois. What a glorious day it was.  And… I have never seen so many corn fields in my entire life. Gorgeous, lush, green fields of corn covered almost the entire state.  Nestled among them, were pristine, white farm houses and out buildings in the subtle roll of the earth’s terrain.  WOW! What a site to behold.

It brought me back to the memory of watching Field of Dreams several years ago. In the film, famous baseball players from ages gone by appeared to play on the ball diamond made in a cornfield. There was one line in the show that struck me over and over as I drove.  One of the players asked the owner of the field, “Is this heaven?”

The beauty put me in a state of mind that made me feel the same way that baseball player must have felt. We live on an amazingly beautiful planet, in a country where anything is possible for our lives if we put our energy into it. And I realized… in a way, it is heaven.

Today, in Chicago, I couldn’t shake the feeling that all we need to do is to see our lives and our surroundings with new eyes; Eyes that see the magnificence of it all. The human body, the trees, birds, the planet, the love shared among friends are all pretty awesome. 

Heaven is a state of mind available to us every minute. How about this minute, right now? How about choosing heaven.